It’s hard to articulate my appreciation for consumer-culture rap as a member of the white-male fraternity; one one hand, the “wigger” stigma hangs none too far out of reach, though, goddamnit, sometimes a throwaway beat makes me happy. Watching mindless, white, suburban club hoppers bounce in unison to throwaway beats also makes me want to vomit, and thusly, I am torn over rap music.

I can’t explain my impulse desire to hear “Superstar” while I’m putting on my shoes in the morning, or why I instantly scan the hip-hop radio dial (and only the hip-hop radio dial) whilst in the car, alone, if only to catch a catchy song.

Does that sound like a guilty pleasure?

I don’t consider myself a rap fan, but rather, I see myself as appreciating rap from a distance (closer at times, sure) having seen the genre evolve in real time to the cultural force it has become over the last three decades.

Modern day rappers are some of the greatest storytellers of all time. Tru dat. For naysayers of rap music (ie, all you frontn’ ass white people), I’ve tried to help make (Jay-Z’s) argument that rap music, in part, is “black superhero music.” That’s brilliant.

The best rappers are simply aural comic artists.

And as a sucker for storytelling across ALL mediums (except comic books), I fucking dig rap, like, 5% of the time. I mean, a lot of rap music is wasteoid, pop, crap, but you could say that for movies, all music, and really, all people.

For what it’s worth, I only like about 5% of people (maybe 2.5%), and yes, I’m using hating people too as a defense for allowing myself to like (some) rap music.

If you’re wondering why I’m so defensive about rap music; I don’t know, man. I grew up in the repressive South, it’s complicated. I think Master P is deserving of untold marketing class case lectures, but I also laugh at the ridiculousness of his platinum ‘teef. Or is that “teeph”?

I’m really over-meta-tizing the prize here, because The Hood Internet is simply intuitive. These guys are great. They’re indie (hate that term) rockers who moonlight as hip-hop DJ’s. And karate instructors.

The hood internet makes music for people who like hip-hop AND indie music and don’t think that’s weird. If the Grey Album didn’t make sense to you (or felt sacrilege), stay away. For the rest of you, go to The Hood Internet now for guilt-free indulgence in awesomeness.